PostgreSQL vs MySQL vs MariaDB vs SQLite vs CockroachDB - Pick the Database That Won't Ruin Your Life

PostgreSQL: The PhD Student's Database

PostgreSQL is like that brilliant PhD student who knows everything but can't explain why the coffee machine is broken. Incredibly powerful, supports every feature known to humanity, and will absolutely murder your performance if you don't tune it properly.

Had a client's database slow to a crawl because autovacuum couldn't keep up with updates. The "solution"? Hire a PostgreSQL consultant at $400/hour who spent three days tweaking vacuum settings. Total damage: $8,400 plus a week of angry users. The settings that fixed it? Five lines in postgresql.conf that aren't documented anywhere reasonable.

Version-specific gotcha that bit me hard: PostgreSQL 17.0 had a parallel query bug that caused deadlocks during bulk operations. Lost two nights of sleep before finding the GitHub issue. Fixed in 17.1, but if you're still on 17.0, add max_parallel_workers_per_gather = 0 to your config or enjoy the crashes.

PostgreSQL shines when you need complex queries, JSON handling, or custom data types. But it's a diva - needs babysitting, careful configuration, and a team that understands MVCC. Great for analytics workloads, terrible for teams that want to "just make it work."

MySQL: The Boring Choice That Actually Works

MySQL is that reliable Honda Civic of databases. Not exciting, everyone has opinions about it, but it just fucking works. Oracle's stewardship hasn't killed it yet, and the ecosystem is massive.

The dirty secret? Most apps don't need PostgreSQL's features. They need something that handles connections well, doesn't eat memory like Chrome, and has enough StackOverflow answers to debug at 3AM. MySQL delivers on all counts.

Real production story: Migrated a startup from PostgreSQL to MySQL 8.4 because their junior devs kept fucking up the vacuum configuration. Performance increased 40% overnight, not because MySQL is faster, but because the defaults are sane. No more autovacuum tuning, no more random slowdowns during bulk updates.

Current version warning: MySQL 8.4.0 has a binary log issue that can fill your disk if you're not careful with large transactions. Add `binlog_expire_logs_seconds = 604800` (7 days) to your config or watch your disk space vanish.

MySQL's weakness? It makes stupid decisions silently unless you set `sql_mode = 'STRICT_TRANS_TABLES,NO_ZERO_DATE,NO_ZERO_IN_DATE,ERROR_FOR_DIVISION_BY_ZERO'`. Learn this config by heart or enjoy debugging phantom data corruption bugs.

MariaDB: MySQL's Rebellious Teenager

MariaDB started as "MySQL but better" and mostly delivers. Better defaults, more features, actual innovation. But "MySQL compatibility" is marketing bullshit - it'll break your app in subtle ways.

Personal disaster story: Updated from MariaDB 10.5 to 10.11 and suddenly all our UTF-8 data was corrupted. Turns out they changed the default charset handling. Six hours of downtime while we figured out the right charset conversion commands. Pro tip: Always test charset behavior when upgrading MariaDB.

The real problem with MariaDB? It's stuck between MySQL and PostgreSQL. If you want boring reliability, use MySQL. If you want advanced features, use PostgreSQL. MariaDB tries to be both and succeeds at neither.

Current gotcha: MariaDB 11.4 changed how it handles certain JOIN operations. If you're seeing weird query results after upgrading, check if your JOINs are using the old behavior assumptions.

SQLite: The Pocket Rocket

SQLite is perfect until it's not. Single file, no configuration, embedded, fast as hell for reads. Then you get concurrent writes and it shits the bed.

Used SQLite for a client project because "it's just a simple app." Famous last words. App got featured on Hacker News, concurrent users spiked, and SQLite started throwing SQLITE_BUSY errors like confetti. Had to migrate to PostgreSQL in 6 hours while the site was getting hammered.

SQLite's sweet spot: Single-user apps, mobile apps, data analysis, anything where you control the writes. It's also bulletproof for caching - never had SQLite corruption in 5 years of production use.

Recent version note: SQLite 3.45.0 improved WAL mode performance, but it's still not designed for high concurrency. Don't use it for web apps unless you enjoy explaining downtime to stakeholders.

CockroachDB: The Expensive Lesson in Distributed Systems

CockroachDB is what happens when smart people solve hard problems and then charge you enterprise prices. Geo-distributed, auto-scaling, strongly consistent. Also complex as hell and costs more than your engineering team's salary.

War story: Tried CockroachDB for a fintech project because "we need global consistency." Spent 3 months learning how distributed transactions work, debugging clock skew issues, and optimizing queries for a distributed architecture. Final bill? $12k/month for what would have cost $200/month on PostgreSQL.

The reality check: Unless you're actually Netflix with data centers on multiple continents, you don't need CockroachDB. You need better backups and maybe a read replica.

Current pricing reality: CockroachDB Serverless starts at $3k/month for production workloads. Dedicated clusters start around $5k/month. PostgreSQL with proper high availability costs $500/month. Do the math.

Distributed systems are hard. Don't learn distributed systems under deadline pressure with angry users and a burning budget. Start with PostgreSQL, scale vertically until it hurts, then consider your distributed options.

The Team Skills Reality Check

PostgreSQL requires database expertise. Period.

I've seen junior developers take down production because they didn't understand vacuum behavior, [connection pooling](https://wiki.postgresql.org/wiki/Pg

Bouncer), or query planning.

You need at least one person who can read EXPLAIN ANALYZE output without crying.

Real hiring reality: PostgreSQL experts cost $150k-250k depending on location.

Finding someone who actually understands internals (not just knows the syntax) takes 3-6 months.

If you're a startup burning through runway, this matters.

MySQL is the safe choice for most teams. Your average full-stack developer can figure out MySQL basics in a week.

The defaults mostly work, the docs are straightforward, and Stack Overflow has answers for everything.

**Maria

DB occupies a weird middle ground.** More complex than MySQL, less capable than PostgreSQL.

Unless you have a specific feature requirement (like better JSON support in older versions), stick with one of the extremes.

SQLite requires zero database skills until it breaks.

Then you need to understand WAL mode, PRAGMA settings, and transaction behavior.

But the learning curve is measured in hours, not months.

CockroachDB demands distributed systems expertise. Don't even consider it unless someone on your team has debugged distributed consensus algorithms in production.

And has therapy covered by insurance.

The Hidden Cost Calculator

Everyone focuses on cloud hosting costs and ignores the real expenses:

PostgreSQL Hidden Costs

• Consultant fees: $200-400/hour for performance issues
• Monitoring tools: $500-2000/month for proper observability
• Connection pooling:

PgBouncer setup and maintenance

• Backup storage: WAL-E/WAL-G plus S3 costs
• Training: 40+ hours per developer for competency
• Total first-year hidden costs: $15k-50k

MySQL Hidden Costs

• Managed service premium: 30-50% over self-hosted
• Backup automation:

Percona tools or custom scripts

• Replica lag monitoring and alerting
• Binary log storage costs
• Total first-year hidden costs: $5k-20k

MariaDB Hidden Costs

• Smaller ecosystem means more custom tooling
• Compatibility testing when migrating from MySQL
• Limited cloud managed options
• Total first-year hidden costs: $8k-25k

SQLite Hidden Costs

• Migration costs when you outgrow it (always happens)
• Limited backup tooling for production use
• Custom replication solutions if needed
• Total first-year hidden costs: $2k-15k (plus migration)

CockroachDB Hidden Costs

• Enterprise licensing for production features
• Specialized training and certification
• Complex monitoring and alerting setup
• Distributed backup coordination
• Total first-year hidden costs: $50k-200k+

The "What Happens When It Breaks" Test

PostgreSQL failure modes:

• Autovacuum falls behind → query slowdown → manual intervention
• Connection exhaustion → application errors → restart required
• Lock contention → deadlocks → query tuning needed
• *Recovery difficulty:

High, requires expertise*

MySQL failure modes:

• Binary log fills disk → write blockage → cleanup required
• Slave lag increases → read inconsistency → replica restart
• InnoDB corruption → restore from backup → potential data loss
• *Recovery difficulty:

Medium, well-documented*

MariaDB failure modes:

• Similar to MySQL but with fewer resources for troubleshooting
• Galera cluster split-brain scenarios are particularly nasty
• *Recovery difficulty:

Medium-high, smaller community*

SQLite failure modes:

• Database locked errors → application retry logic → eventual success
• Corruption (rare) → restore from backup → minimal data loss
• *Recovery difficulty:

Low, copy file and restart*

CockroachDB failure modes:

• Node failures → automatic rebalancing → transparent to apps
• Network partitions → consistency delays → eventual resolution
• Clock skew → transaction failures → NTP configuration fixes
• *Recovery difficulty:

Low for common issues, impossible for edge cases*

The Brutal Migration Timeline Reality

From SQLite to anything else: 2-4 weeks

• Export data (trivial)
• Modify schema (minor differences)
• Update connection code (straightforward)
• Test concurrency behavior (new bottlenecks)

Between Postgre

SQL, MySQL, MariaDB: 3-6 months

• Schema differences (data types, constraints)
• Query compatibility (different SQL dialects)
• Application code changes (different drivers, behaviors)
• Performance regression testing (different optimization patterns)
• Data migration scripts (bulk export/import)
• Rollback planning (because something will break)

To/from CockroachDB: 6-12 months minimum

• Complete architecture review (distributed thinking required)
• Transaction model changes (eventual consistency implications)
• Query pattern modifications (distributed-friendly approaches)
• Monitoring and alerting overhaul (cluster awareness)
• Team training (distributed systems concepts)
• Probably hiring new people (specialized skills)

Reality check:

I've never seen a major database migration complete on schedule or under budget. Always double your timeline estimate and triple your budget. The opportunity cost of engineering time usually exceeds the hosting savings.

The Honest Recommendation Framework

Choose SQLite if:

• You're prototyping or building a single-user app
• Data fits in memory (< 1GB realistically)
• You want zero operational overhead
• You can migrate later when needed

Choose MySQL if:

• You want reliability over features
• Your team has limited database experience
• You need something that "just works" at scale
• You're building a typical web application
• Your read/write patterns are straightforward

Choose PostgreSQL if:

• You need advanced SQL features (window functions, CTEs, custom types)
• You're doing analytics or complex reporting
• You have or can hire database expertise
• You're willing to invest in proper operational setup
• Data integrity is more important than ease of use

Choose MariaDB if:

• You're already on MySQL and need specific features
• You want better defaults than MySQL
• You're okay with a smaller ecosystem

Choose CockroachDB if:

• You actually need global distribution (multiple continents)
• You have unlimited budget and specialized expertise
• Compliance requires specific consistency guarantees
• You've exhausted all other scaling options

The uncomfortable truth: Most applications would work fine on any of these databases. The choice matters less than proper implementation, monitoring, and operational practices. Pick the one your team can operate successfully, not the one that wins benchmarks or has the coolest features.