Apple's iPhone 17 Event: 120Hz for Everyone (and Your Wallet)

Look, I've been using iPhones since the 3G, and this event was basically Apple admitting they've been screwing us for years. The iPhone 17 finally gets 120Hz ProMotion - a feature Samsung had on their $400 phones two years ago. The official specs confirm the 6.3-inch display upgrade and A19 chip performance. But hey, better late than never, right?

The iPhone 17: Good News, Bad News

Good news: The screen's bigger (around 6.3 inches from what I could tell squinting at the livestream), smoother (finally got 120Hz), and the ultrawide camera doesn't suck anymore (48MP apparently). The colors look decent - that lavender actually looks kinda nice, assuming the stage lighting wasn't doing its usual lies.

Bad news: They killed the 128GB option and bumped the price to $799. My iPhone 16 has 128GB and it's constantly nagging me about storage. Now they start at 256GB, which sounds generous until you realize they just added $100 to the price. Give you 120Hz, take your money. Apple gonna Apple.

iPhone Air: Pretty But Probably Fragile

The iPhone Air is stupidly thin - stupidly being the key word. Didn't catch the exact thickness but it looked almost tablet-thin, like iPhone 6 Plus "bendgate" all over again. This thing's gonna snap in half the first time you put it in your back pocket and sit down. Learned that lesson with my 6 Plus - RIP to that beautiful disaster.

Big screen though, looks like 6.6-ish inches from the presentation. But $999 for a phone that's eSIM-only? Try traveling anywhere that isn't Silicon Valley. Half of Europe still treats eSIM like some mythical technology. Was stuck in Prague for two days because my eSIM wouldn't activate and there's no backup SIM slot. The eSIM international issues are real, despite Apple's official support claims. Even China requires special carrier deals for the Air to work. Fun times.

Pro Models: Aluminum Instead of Titanium (LOL)

The iPhone 17 Pro went from titanium back to aluminum. Let me get this straight - last year titanium was the future, this year aluminum is fine? MacRumors explains why - apparently aluminum enables better colors and reduces weight. Sounds like they realized titanium was expensive and their margins were getting squeezed.

The camera bar now goes across the whole back. It looks... fine, I guess? Still $1,099 for the Pro, which honestly isn't terrible compared to what Samsung charges.

Still No Smart Siri

The elephant in the room? Siri still sucks. While Google Assistant can write my emails and ChatGPT can help debug my code, Siri can barely set a timer without screwing up. Apple's playing catch-up in AI and it shows.

The Other Stuff: Watches That Monitor Your Blood Pressure and Earbuds That Judge Your Heart Rate

Apple also announced the Apple Watch Ultra 3 and AirPods Pro 3, because apparently we need more devices tracking our every bodily function. The official Ultra 3 announcement and AirPods Pro 3 details reveal Apple's health monitoring obsession.

Apple Watch Ultra 3: $799 Blood Pressure Anxiety Machine

The Ultra 3 can now monitor your blood pressure, which sounds great until you realize it'll be buzzing every 5 minutes telling you you're stressed while you're trying to debug a production outage at 2 AM. Ars Technica's analysis shows the hypertension detection uses optical sensors that monitor over 30 days. Yeah, thanks watch, I know my blood pressure is high - the entire checkout system is down.

Satellite connectivity is actually useful if you're the type who goes hiking in places where even Verizon gives up. But $799? That's more than most people's monthly rent. The 42-hour battery life is impressive though. At least the regular Series 11 gets blood pressure monitoring for $399, so you can stress about your health AND your bank account.

AirPods Pro 3: Your Ears Are Now Fitness Trackers

The AirPods Pro 3 can read your heart rate through your ears, which is either impressive engineering or deeply concerning. Engadget's deep dive explains the photoplethysmography (PPG) sensor technology behind the heart rate tracking. The real-time translation feature will probably work about as well as Siri understanding my accent - good luck ordering food in Tokyo.

At $249, they're not cheap, but if they actually replace a separate fitness tracker, I guess that's something. The 50 workout types support and 2x better noise cancellation make them appealing. The smaller design is nice because the old ones made me look like I had tiny white tampons hanging out of my ears.

Apple Wants to Monitor Everything

Apple's basically building a surveillance state for your body. Watch on your wrist, earbuds in your ears, phone in your pocket - they want data from every orifice. Soon they'll probably announce iSocks that monitor your foot temperature.

Having heart rate monitoring in both the watch and earbuds is redundant, but hey, more data points for their machine learning algorithms to tell you you're stressed.

More Overpriced Gadgets Coming Soon

Mark Gurman says Apple's planning even more hardware through 2026. New iPads, updated Vision Pro (because the first one was such a hit), and probably another HomePod mini that still can't understand basic commands.

Apple's really embracing the "throw everything at the wall and see what sticks" strategy. At least my credit card company will be happy.