Why Apple's AI Strategy is Fucked

Apple AI Development Concerns

Robby Walker is bailing on Apple in October after years of trying to make Siri not completely suck. He ran their AI and search teams - basically the guy responsible for Apple's biggest AI embarrassment. They shuffled him around with fancy titles like "broader AI responsibilities," which is corporate speak for "we don't know what to do with you either."

Siri is Still Garbage After 13 Years

Walker's leaving because Siri upgrades keep getting delayed into oblivion. Apple announced "Apple Intelligence" - which is like calling a horse and buggy a "transportation solution" when everyone else has cars. Tim Cook's "privacy-first" approach sounds great in keynotes but means Apple sits on the sidelines jerking off while Google and Microsoft ship AI that actually works.

Everyone's Jumping Ship

Walker isn't the only one escaping. AI startups are throwing stupid money at anyone who can spell "neural network." Meta bumped ML researcher salaries 25-40% just to stop the bleeding. When you can double your Apple salary at some AI startup and get equity that might not be worthless, why stay to polish Siri's turd?

On-Device Processing is a Dead End

Apple processes everything locally on their Neural Engine chips because "privacy." Sounds noble until you realize it means Siri doesn't know what year it is. ChatGPT and Gemini get smarter every week because they learn from billions of users. Apple's AI stays dumb because they refuse to collect the data they'd need to make it useful.

It's like trying to build Google Maps without traffic data. Noble but fucking useless.

The $20 Billion Google Problem

Apple Google Search Partnership

Walker was supposed to get Apple off Google's teat. Apple pays Google $20 billion annually to be Safari's default search engine. That's more than most countries' GDP, just so Apple doesn't have to build search themselves.

They've been "exploring" their own search engine for years but search is stupidly hard. Microsoft threw billions at Bing for decades and still can't crack 10% market share. Apple thinks they can do better? With what AI talent - the people who made Siri?

When DOJ breaks up Google's search monopoly, that $20B revenue stream dies. Building search becomes survival, not a nice-to-have project.

Walker was supposed to solve this nightmare. Instead he's leaving right before iPhone 17 production when Apple needs AI features most. They haven't named a replacement because nobody wants the impossible job of making Siri competitive when the company refuses to let you collect the data you'd need.

What You Actually Want to Know About Apple's Latest AI Problem

Q

Who is Robby Walker and why should I care?

A

Walker ran Apple's AI and search teams for over a decade. He's the guy who was supposed to make Siri not completely suck. Spoiler: he failed spectacularly. Now he's bailing in October.

Q

Why is he leaving?

A

Because Siri is still garbage after 13 years and Apple won't let anyone fix it properly. Walker got tired of trying to make AI work with one hand tied behind his back while ChatGPT eats Apple's lunch.

Q

Is Apple's AI strategy fucked?

A

Pretty much. They're obsessed with on-device processing for "privacy" which sounds noble until you realize it means Siri doesn't know what century we're in. Meanwhile ChatGPT is writing code and solving complex problems.

Q

What happens to Siri now?

A

Nothing changes. It'll still suck at basic tasks while competitors get better every week. Walker was their best shot at fixing it and he gave up.

Q

Who's replacing him?

A

Nobody wants this poisoned chalice. Try making Siri competitive when the company won't let you use cloud data or learn from users. It's career suicide.

Q

Is this part of a bigger trend?

A

Yeah, AI talent is jumping ship everywhere. Why work on Apple's neutered AI when some startup will pay double and let you actually build something that works?

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