Google got fined $425 million for tracking users who told them not to track them. Meanwhile, OpenAI announced they're building a jobs platform to compete with LinkedIn - you know, the same LinkedIn owned by Microsoft, who invested $13 billion in OpenAI. The irony is so thick you could cut it with a knife.
Google's Privacy Fine: The Cost of Being Caught
A San Francisco jury decided Google owes over $400 million to close to 100 million users for doing exactly what everyone knows Google does - tracking you even when you tell them not to. For eight years (2016-2024), Google ignored users' "Web & App Activity" settings and collected data anyway. Shocking, I know.
The jury found Google guilty of privacy invasion but decided Google wasn't being malicious, just... persistent. Each user gets about $4, which is roughly what Google makes from your data in a few hours. The original lawsuit asked for $31 billion, but apparently privacy violations get the same discount as Black Friday electronics.
Google's response was predictably corporate. Spokesperson Jose Castaneda said the decision "misunderstands how our products work" - which is Google's way of saying "We're really good at tracking you, and you just don't understand the technical details of how we violate your privacy." They're appealing, naturally.
OpenAI Bites the Hand That Feeds Them
In a masterclass of corporate backstabbing, OpenAI announced their own jobs platform to launch mid-2026. This directly competes with LinkedIn, which is owned by Microsoft - the same Microsoft that gave OpenAI $13 billion. It's like borrowing someone's car and then starting a rival car dealership.
The platform promises AI-powered job matching and employee development programs. Fidji Simo says "Jobs will look different" as AI transforms work, which is corporate speak for "we're eliminating your job but here's a platform to help you find another one we'll also eliminate later."
The Classic "Problem and Solution" Scam
OpenAI is also launching a certification program for 10 million Americans by 2030, partnering with Walmart and John Deere. This is after AI eliminated over 10,000 jobs this year with predictions it'll wipe out 50% of entry-level white-collar work by 2030.
It's the perfect business model: create the problem, then sell the solution. "Sorry we automated your job away, but hey - want to pay for training to work alongside the robots that replaced you?" OpenAI Academy offers free AI certifications starting late 2025, positioning themselves as both the arsonist and the fire department.
The Real Story: Tech Companies Do Whatever They Want
Here's what's actually happening: Google got caught doing what everyone knows they do, paid a fine that's basically couch change, and will continue business as usual. OpenAI is expanding aggressively with zero regulatory oversight because AI is the magic word that makes regulators go "oooh, innovation!"
The competitive dynamics are hilarious - OpenAI is literally competing with their biggest investor's product. Imagine if Netflix started making phones to compete with Apple after Apple invested billions in them. The audacity is breathtaking.
Why None of This Actually Matters
Google's stock didn't budge after the fine because $425 million is what they make in about two days. Their quarterly revenue is over $80 billion - this fine is 0.5% of that. It's like getting a $20 speeding ticket when you make $100,000.
OpenAI's jobs platform will probably work about as well as every other tech company's attempt to "revolutionize" an established industry. LinkedIn has network effects that took decades to build - good luck competing with AI matching that'll probably recommend you apply to be a professional dog walker when you're a software engineer.
The real lesson here is that tech companies operate in a consequence-free environment where privacy violations get slaps on the wrist and corporate backstabbing is called "innovation." Welcome to Silicon Valley, where ethics go to die and everyone gets rich doing it.
This is the new normal: companies create problems, then sell solutions, all while stabbing their investors in the back. And somehow, we're supposed to be impressed by the "disruption."