So Atlassian announced yesterday they're dropping $610 million cash on The Browser Company. You know, the startup behind Arc browser - that thing Mac developers won't shut up about but somehow has fewer users than Internet Explorer did in 2020.
This deal makes about as much fucking sense as buying a unicorn to compete with horses. Atlassian makes project management software that already drives everyone insane. Now they own a browser that maybe 0.01% of their enterprise customers have heard of, let alone want to use.
But here's the thing that's actually nuts: The Browser Company killed Arc development in May to focus on their new AI browser called Dia. So Atlassian just paid $610M for a company that gave up on their main product to chase AI buzzwords. Either Mike Cannon-Brookes knows something the rest of us don't, or someone got played hard.
The Numbers Are Completely Insane
Arc browser has what, maybe 500K users on a good day? That's being generous. Meanwhile Chrome has 3.2 billion users and costs nothing because Google prints money from ads. So Atlassian paid roughly $1,200 per Arc user. Let that sink in.
The Browser Company raised maybe $70 million total in funding. Atlassian paid almost 9x that amount. For comparison, that's more than some major SaaS companies get acquired for, and those actually have revenue models that don't involve praying someone invents browser subscriptions.
What Atlassian Actually Bought
Arc has some genuinely clever features - collapsible sidebar tabs, workspace separation, custom themes. It's basically Safari for people who think regular browsers aren't complicated enough. The problem is most knowledge workers want their browser to get out of the way, not require a PhD to configure.
Dia is supposed to be this "AI-native browser" that understands your work context. Cool concept, except every other productivity tool is adding AI features too. Why do I need a special browser when Notion already has AI, Linear has AI, Microsoft has Copilot, Slack has AI, and even Jira is getting AI whether we want it or not?
The Real Bet (And Why It Might Not Suck)
Here's what Atlassian's probably thinking: browsers are becoming the new OS for remote work. If they can bake Jira, Confluence, and Trello directly into how you browse and search, they lock in enterprise customers even harder than they already do.
The other possibility is they looked around and saw Microsoft owning GitHub Copilot, Google shoving Gemini everywhere, Adobe with Firefly, Salesforce with Einstein, and panicked. "Shit, we need to own something with AI in the name or investors will dump our stock."
Josh Miller says his team will stay independent, but we've heard that before. Remember when Facebook said WhatsApp would stay independent? Yeah, that worked out great for exactly zero people.
Why This Will Probably Backfire Spectacularly
Browser switching is stickier than herpes. People use what's pre-installed or what IT forces them to use. Arc's whole thing is deep customization, which IT departments hate more than mandatory team-building exercises.
Plus The Browser Company built their reputation making boutique products for power users. Now they have to build enterprise software for millions of non-technical employees who can barely figure out Chrome bookmarks. Good luck with that cultural shift.
The opportunity cost here is brutal. $610 million could have bought Atlassian actual useful improvements to their existing products. Maybe Jira that doesn't crash when you create a project with more than 50 tickets. Maybe Confluence search that actually finds the document you're looking for. Instead, they bought a browser that 0.01% of their customers might voluntarily use.
But hey, at least now when Jira goes down, you'll have a really pretty browser to stare at while you wait for it to come back online.