You.com Raises $100M Because Everyone Hates Google Search Now

Search Engine

You.com just raised $100 million at a $1.5 billion valuation because apparently everyone's fed up with Google's search turning into an ad-infested nightmare. Cox Enterprises led the round, which says something about how broken search has become when a media company is betting this much on an alternative.

Started as a consumer search engine, You.com pivoted to enterprise AI infrastructure after realizing nobody gives a shit about yet another Google clone. Smart move. Now they're processing over 1 billion API queries per month for developers who want to integrate live web data without dealing with Google's restrictions and pricing bullshit.

The thing that actually makes sense: zero data retention and custom model orchestration. When I'm building something that needs real-time web data, I don't want Google knowing every query my users make or forcing me through their API rate limits that change whenever they feel like it.

Richard Socher, their founder, was Salesforce's chief scientist before this. Guy knows his shit. Unlike most search startups that die after burning through seed funding, You.com found actual revenue by selling infrastructure to other companies instead of trying to get consumers to switch from Google.

Google Paid Another Privacy Fine ($425M This Time)

Google Privacy Settlement

California jury hit Google with $425 million for location tracking users thought they'd turned off. This is like the fifth major privacy fine in two years.

Here's the thing about these fines: Google made $307 billion in revenue last year. $425 million is 0.14% of that. It's like getting a $50 parking ticket when you make $100,000. I spent 3 hours last month trying to turn off location tracking on my Pixel - disabled it in 12 different settings menus and it was still logging my movements.

They'll keep doing exactly what they're doing because the business model works and the penalties are joke money. Location data from 2 billion Android devices is worth way more than occasional fines.

Remember when everyone freaked out about Facebook's privacy issues in 2018? Google collects 10x more data and nobody seems to care as long as Maps still works. The surveillance capitalism model depends on behavioral surplus, and regulatory capture keeps meaningful oversight at bay.

Instagram Finally Built an iPad App (Only Took 14 Years)

Instagram Logo 2022

Instagram's iPad app went live September 3rd. Fourteen years after the iPad launched. Fourteen. Years.

I downloaded it immediately because I'm one of those idiots who's been asking for this since 2010. It's... fine. Basically the iPhone app stretched out with some tablet-specific layouts. No crashes or weird rendering bugs, which honestly surprised me given Meta's track record with first releases.

The best part? All the features work. Stories, Reels, DMs - everything that should have been there in 2010 when iPads were selling millions of units.

Meta's excuse was always "not enough demand" while millions of people used the blown-up iPhone version that looked like garbage. Classic tech company logic: ignore users for over a decade, then act like you're doing everyone a favor.

They built a whole metaverse nobody wanted but couldn't be bothered to make their photo app work on tablets. The iPad has sold over 500 million units since 2010, but apparently that wasn't enough market to justify native app development. Meanwhile, TikTok launched Vision Pro support before Instagram bothered with iPads.

Quick Questions People Keep Asking

Q

So Tesla's robotaxi thing actually works now?

A

Lol no. You download the app, join a waitlist, and if you're lucky you get a ride with a human driver babysitting the AI. It's basically Uber with more marketing hype.

Q

Why didn't Instagram's iPad app break the internet?

A

Because it took them 14 fucking years to build it. By the time it launched, everyone who cared had already moved on to TikTok. Plus it's just the iPhone app stretched out

  • not exactly revolutionary.
Q

Is $425M actually a lot of money to Google?

A

It's 0.14% of their annual revenue. Google spends more than that on free snacks for employees. They'll appeal it, pay it, and keep tracking your location anyway.

Q

Will Tesla's robotaxis actually be cheaper than Uber?

A

Who knows? Tesla hasn't announced pricing because they're probably still figuring out their insurance costs when the AI inevitably crashes into something. My friend's Model S tried to lane-change into a concrete barrier last month because the camera thought it was an open lane.

Q

Does the Instagram iPad app do anything special?

A

Split-screen mode and bigger Reels. Groundbreaking stuff that would have been impressive in 2012 when the iPad was actually popular.

Q

When will Tesla remove the safety drivers?

A

When pigs fly and their AI can handle construction zones without trying to drive through orange cones. So maybe 2035 if we're being optimistic.

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