Apple's Marketing Team Thinks "Awe Dropping" is Clever for iPhone 17

Apple confirmed their iPhone 17 launch for Tuesday, September 9, 2025, at 10 a.m. PT at Apple Park. The media invitation uses "Awe dropping" as the tagline, which is either a reference to dropping your jaw in awe or literally dropping your phone - both equally likely with Apple's track record.

iPhone 17 Air: Because We Needed Another Mid-Tier Option

Apple's adding a third tier this year with the iPhone 17 Air - their "thinnest smartphone design ever," which probably means it'll bend if you look at it wrong. It sits between the regular and Pro models, because apparently two price points weren't enough to confuse consumers.

Rumor has it the Air will have a 6.6-inch display and simplified cameras to stay thin. It's basically for people who want to pay Pro prices but don't need Pro cameras - the classic Apple strategy of creating a problem they can solve with another SKU.

Apple Intelligence: Still Trying to Catch Up to ChatGPT

The big selling point is supposedly "significant advances" in Apple Intelligence, which launched with iOS 18 and has been mediocre since. We're getting better Siri (again), AI photo editing that'll remove your ex from pictures, and predictive text that might actually be useful this time.

At least Apple's keeping AI on-device with the A19 chip, which means your data stays private while you wait slightly less time for Siri to understand what you meant. Early benchmarks suggest the A19 Pro could match M4 performance. It's their response to Google and Samsung's AI features, except two years late and probably half as useful.

The Usual Accessory Parade

Expect the typical refreshes: Apple Watch Series 11 with "improved" health sensors that still can't diagnose anything, and new AirPods with noise cancellation that's slightly better than last year's slightly better version.

Apple's also ditching their awful FineWoven cases after everyone complained they felt like sandpaper. They'll probably go back to silicone and act like it's an innovation.

Same September Schedule, Same Hype Machine

You can watch the livestream on Apple's website and YouTube if you enjoy watching rich people get excited about marginally better processors. September timing is perfect for the holiday shopping season, because nothing says Christmas spirit like spending $1,200 on a phone.

With eight new products expected, Apple's calling this "comprehensive," which is marketing-speak for "we changed the colors and bumped some specs." The "Awe dropping" tagline suggests Apple thinks these incremental updates will "significantly differentiate" their products, which is corporate bullshit for "please don't buy Samsung."

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