Rumors say Apple's doing their usual September dog-and-pony show on September 9th. After sitting through way too many of these events, I can already predict the script: "Revolutionary!" this, "Most advanced!" that, and incremental improvements sold as world-changing innovation.
The iPhone 17 Thinness Obsession Continues
Leaks suggest the new iPhone will be ridiculously thin again. Because that worked so well with the butterfly keyboard disaster.
I've been burned by Apple's thinness fetish before. My 2016 MacBook Pro can't even charge and connect to an external monitor without dongles. Now they want to make phones so thin the battery probably lasts until lunch.
The rumored "iPhone 17 Air" sounds like typical Apple marketing bullshit. Early leaks suggest smaller battery capacity than current models. They'll sacrifice battery life for thinness and pretend it's innovation.
My iPhone 15 Pro Still Overheats Like Hell
Apple might finally fix the thermal throttling that makes my iPhone 15 Pro slower than my 2019 Android when recording video. Only took them a year to admit their "Pro" phone can't handle pro tasks for more than five minutes.
I've been testing iPhones since 2018. Every generation has some obvious flaw they fix in the next model you have to buy. iPhone 15 Pro gets too hot to hold during 4K recording. iPhone 14 Pro had that awful notch. iPhone 13 Pro had mediocre battery life. Reports indicate the iPhone 17 Air won't even last a single day without charging.
So the iPhone 17 Pro will probably fix overheating while introducing some new annoyance. Maybe the charging port falls out randomly or the cameras make everything look purple. Leaked specs show improved cooling systems, but that usually means Apple found new ways to throttle performance.
Apple Intelligence Is Still Useless
iOS 26 will supposedly make Siri less of an embarrassment. After six months with Apple Intelligence, I can confirm it's like having a Magic 8-Ball that occasionally works. iOS 26 promises on-device Siri processing, but Apple has been promising better Siri for a decade.
Siri still can't understand my accent, set multiple timers, or do anything useful without three tries. But Apple will demo some AI feature that generates terrible clipart and call it groundbreaking.
Google's Pixel has been doing on-device AI for years. Apple acts like they invented local processing because it took them until 2025 to figure out privacy sells phones.
The real scam is requiring new hardware for software features. My iPhone 15 Pro could absolutely run these AI models, but artificial limitations sell upgrades. Users report Apple Intelligence drains 10-17% battery while sitting idle - maybe that hardware requirement isn't so artificial.
Pricing Will Be Insane As Always
Rumors put the base iPhone 17 around $900, which is nuts for what's probably minor spec bumps and a slightly better camera. The Pro models will cost whatever Apple thinks people will pay - probably $1,200+. Current price estimates suggest the Pro Max could hit $1,500+ for higher storage tiers.
These prices are insane when my phone from 2022 still works fine. But Apple knows their customers will pay anything to stay in the blue bubble ecosystem.
I've watched friends drop $1,500 on new iPhones while complaining about grocery prices. The psychological lock-in is real.
Why I'll Probably Still Watch
Phone launches are boring now because everything is good enough. The iPhone 16 does everything I need. The iPhone 15 Pro was already overkill for most people. Industry reports suggest iOS 26 finally fixes thermal throttling, but only if you buy new hardware that shouldn't have needed fixing in the first place.
But Apple might surprise everyone and actually innovate instead of just making things thinner and more expensive. Probably not, but I've been wrong before.
The real question is whether anyone cares about new phones anymore. Sales are down because people finally realized they don't need to upgrade every year. Maybe Apple will have to compete on value for once.