So Google hit $3 trillion this week. For what, exactly? The same search engine we've been using since 2003, except now it hallucinates answers and tells you to eat rocks.
I've been building web apps for 15 years and I can't wrap my head around this. Google's market cap is bigger than Germany's entire economy. For a company that makes money showing you ads next to search results. The exact same business model they've had since Bush was president.
Sure, they slapped Gemini on everything and called it "AI-powered." I tried Gemini last month - it's ChatGPT with Google branding. Asked it to debug some React hooks and it suggested using class components. In 2025. Thanks for nothing.
But apparently that's worth three thousand billion dollars now. Nvidia hit $4 trillion making chips for data centers that train chatbots. Microsoft crossed $4 trillion because Azure hosts AI workloads that mostly generate marketing copy nobody reads.
Oracle's Larry Ellison became the richest person on Earth after announcing some $500 billion AI deal. That's more money than most countries spend on literally everything. For database software that's been around since the Clinton administration.
Here's what kills me - even Sam Altman said investors are "overexcited about AI". The guy making billions off this hype thinks it's overvalued. When the CEO of OpenAI tells you to pump the brakes, maybe fucking listen.
The Fed's already comparing this to the railroad bubble from the 1800s. At least trains moved actual people and cargo. What does Gemini do that regular Google search didn't already do, except burn more electricity and hallucinate more often?
I've shipped production React apps that use AI APIs. You know what the biggest challenge is? Getting the AI to not make up random shit. GPT-4 told me useEffect doesn't exist in React 18. I've been using hooks since 2019. These models are confident idiots.
But somehow that justifies market caps bigger than entire countries. Google needs to generate hundreds of billions in NEW revenue to justify this valuation. From what? Better search ads? Subscription chatbots that most people use once and forget about?
We've seen this shit before. In 1999, any startup with ".com" in the name got stupid valuations. Pets.com was going to revolutionize pet food delivery. They burned through $300 million in two years selling dog toys at a loss.
Now it's "AI will change everything." Maybe it will. But the current numbers assume AI will replace all human labor while generating infinite profits with zero costs. That's not optimism, that's delusion.
I've been debugging production systems at 3am. I've seen what happens when the hype doesn't match reality. Google hit $3 trillion because everyone's drunk on AI promises. When they sober up, this is going to hurt.